Readers of this blog know I advocate positive reinforcement training for dogs. But I rarely talk about positive reinforcement and people. It works the same for us as it does for dogs. If you read my article on why we (people) are so quick to use punishment, you'll see the reasons I think we jump so quickly to punishment.
But why don't we jump to reinforcement just as quickly? Think of the change we could make!
I just gave a presentation at ClickerExpo on using social media for dog training entrepreneurs. It was my first real public speaking experience. And I was plenty nervous. After my talk, I got lots of positive reinforcement – people told me they liked my talk. How nice! That was really reinforcing – they liked my talk and they liked the material. With that feedback, I'm now looking more forward to giving the talk again in Lexington, KY at the next ClickerExpo in March.
Another example of positive reinforcement with people: a blizzard is bearing down on the Mid-Atlantic. People are frenzied. Grocery stores are packed. Earlier today I was in line at the grocery and smiled at the harried clerk as I approached the register. He glanced up and mumbled an apology for the wait. I smiled, made a joke and told him not to worry. His face changed immediately. He almost looked surprised. I saw his shoulders relax and his frantic pace slowed just a bit. We chatted as he rung my purchases up, then made a few more jokes as I paid.
The folks behind me chimed in, laughing at the dire forecast, joking about the panicked masses. All of a sudden, a tense situation lightened – for all of us. It was something to see! And what started it? A smile. That's it!
You can make a difference. Instead of speaking up only when you get sub-par service, remember to notice – and comment – when you've gotten good service. Just a little "thank you," or simple compliment can go a long way to making someone's day.
And here's a bonus – I promise you this: if you adopt this practice of noticing the little things that are good, you'll have a much better day, week, month. It sounds very "pollyanna," I know, but I swear it's true! And the more you notice the good things, the less you'll notice the not-so-good things.
I'm not saying you shouldn't give constructive criticism if the situation doesn't meet your standards. I want to hear how I can improve my public speaking skills and my presentation. Restaurants need to know if your meal was undercooked. Just remember to notice and comment on the good stuff as well.We'll all be better off…
That is such a good point. We need to say good things to our people friends too.
Hear hear! Thanks so much for sharing what you learned at Expo for those of us who couldn’t attend.
Fantastic post! I always try to make an effort to smile and chat with people at stores or fast food places because I work in fast food and I know how it is. A smile or a compliment can make a bad day feel a little bit better. 🙂 At the very least a thank you would be appreciated. Working in fast food is a very demeaning job at times. People treat you like they are better than you just because you work in fast food.
I love to make people laugh and cheer up people having a bad day. I think anyone who eats out should work in fast food for at least a year. Understanding the processes and how/why mistakes are made makes you a lot more understanding and forgiving. Thanks for bringing this up in your post. Now my problem is finding a way to get rid of bad habits or build new good habits in myself using positive reinforcement, but I’m at a loss lol.
Not exactly on point but I see it at work all the time! If we bring donuts to an early meeting, or have a meeting over lunch people are much more likely to show up…just like my Portie Cody does when he knows its the walk that comes with a treat at the end. I think we’re just a little more reluctant to sell our free-will for a biscuit, but dogs know better and eat more treats.
I can’t remember who I was reading the other day but she suggested that I leave something good with everyone I encountered that day. You’re right, it sounded kind of “Pollyanna-ish” but I tried it anyway. A compliment a, thank you or just an upbeat comment (“Man, it’s only February but seeing that garden seed display makes me feel great!) can positively affect someone else’s day. And it’s not bad for improving mine, either!