Service Dog

Turn-in day came and went and I'm still alive. Not happy, but alive. I will give you all the details maybe tomorrow. It's still a bit raw for me right now. Lots more tears for lots longer than I expected. Just thinking about him brings them 'round again. I need to stop crying – I have a monster headache from all the sniffing!

Of course, it didn't go as planned. But we got through it. And I managed to keep it together until we were back in the car.

The report from Talos' new keeper was that he had a rough night, too. Lots of pacing, whining, uncertainty. T and I had the same kind of night…

Remind me WHY I do this? It's torture.

In light of the serious posts about Talos' turn in, I thought I'd write a few things I won't miss about the big lug:

• Sleeping in 1/4 of the bed. I'll have an entire half of the bed! I'm not sure I'll know how to sleep with so much room.
• Wet, sloppy floors. Shoes are required in this house because after Talos drinks, he leaves half the water  on the floor. Most of the water comes out of his mouth as he's leaving the water bowl. The rest of it he spills as he's drinking it.
• His punctuality. He sleeps a lot, yes, but oh does his internal clock keep really good time. He bangs on the pantry at 7:00a, 12:00p, and 4:30p to remind me meal time is approaching.
• How to put this delicately? His, um, gas. It's pretty near deadly. And which end usually faces me in bed at night? You got it: the business end. There are some nights I go to bed wondering if I'll wake up the next morning.
• Perpetually nose-marked windows in my car and house. Talos' nose is huge. And he likes to put his nose against any glass surface he can find. 
• Comments like: "Where's his saddle?" "Is that a dog or a horse?" "No horses allowed in here!" "Where'd you get the cow?" "If you get tired, just hop on his back and ride him home."  I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Those were funny the first 1,500 times I heard them.
• Super-sized poops. 'Nuf said, pretty self-explanatory. Actually, I sometimes wonder if he's a horse when I'm cleaning them up!
• Sitting on the floor because Talos takes up the entire couch. I must be fair, however: he only takes the entire couch when he's really in a deep sleep. Otherwise, he curls himself up rather politely and leaves 2/3 of the couch for others.
• Cleaning eye-boogers. He's got giant-sized eye-boogers every morning. And they're gross. But I pick 'em out because they're grosser when they stay in his eye.

In a few short hours, those things will be someone else's problem. I gotta go now, there's a couch and a bed calling my name…

Talos has been part of our family since Memorial Weekend 2009. This weekend he's going back to Service Dogs of Virginia where he'll receive more intensive training, then in a few more months, he'll be matched with a person who will become his permanent family.

When you raise a service dog, you know you have to give the dog back eventually. You know about how long you'll keep your charge, but the actual turn-in date depends on lots of factors.

Turn-in day has always been hard for me. I'm ruled by my heart. And my heart is crazy in love with Talos.

Turn-in will be at a dog park/lake in Virginia. We'll be taking Talos there to play and meet his new (temporary) dog family. We'll hang out with Talos, the training director, and the rest of her charges, while Talos gets to know his new friends. We'll stay the entire time, help get Talos into the vehicle and wave as he rides off into the sunset.

Then I cry. A lot. For a long time.

And I wait by my computer for an email letting me know how big T's adjusting to his new surroundings.

While I find nothing good about turn-in, I like doing it this way because we're not disappearing – Talos will be able to see us as he is driven away. And we're not leaving him. We're just going separate ways. 

I'll get lots of updates on Talos. Hopefully lots of pictures and lots of video. Our paths will cross again at Graduation.

Graduation means more tears. Tears of joy, tears of sadness, but for the most part Graduation is a happy event for me. I get to see Talos again, but even better – I get to see Talos and his new person working happily together.

This is THE toughest part of service dog training for me. I don't mind getting up three or four times a night with a new puppy, I don't mind all the good-manners training, I don't mind all the teething and chewing and biting from a puppy.

It's the turn-in that's rough. But it's a necessary part of puppy raising. It's what has to happen if this big guy's going to go off and do good things with his life.

Go do good things, T. You've got a lot more to give and while I'll grieve your absence, I know you'll be onto the next new adventure, on your way to making someone's life better. 

(Photo by Mary Kate McKenna.)

This is a tough week for me. It's the last of the lasts. The last weekend with Talos. The last Sunday, the last Monday, the last Tuesday…you get the picture.

Yesterday was difficult for me. I had just enough free time to think about the implications. I cried a few times.

But today's a new day.

And I hate to be the girl who ruins the remaining time we have together by thinking about how sad I'll be once Talos is at Service Dogs of Virginia.

I'll have plenty of time to be sad. I need to be happy. My T is still here, right now.

I need to be a glass half full girl.

Which I am. Usually. So I gave myself a little lecture this morning and decided that I'd have to just make myself be optimistic. Optimistic's better than pessimistic. It makes me happier to be optimistic.

So here's what I've come up with in my glass-half-full vision:

• Talos will love this new adventure: new dog-friends to meet and play with; new human-friends who will love him silly.
• Lots of new things to learn. His mind will be utilized to the fullest!
• Plenty of outings in public. No one loves being out in public more than Talos!
• Going back means he's one step closer to becoming a service dog – he'll change someone's life!

A couple other pluses:

• No more slobber hanging from the lights or the walls.
• There won't be any banging on the pantry door at 7:00a, 12:00p, and 5:00p — reminding me that it's feeding time.
• The toilets will always be full – Talos won't use them as water bowls.
• I'll have my entire half of the bed back!

If I keep repeating these things, maybe I can keep that glass half-full… Or not.